In short
Casual Mums reviews every photo but does not check what members write about themselves. Keep your children, surname and address off your profile, never send money to someone you've met online, and report scams to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 (England, Wales, Northern Ireland) or Police Scotland on 101. In an emergency, call 999.
| Emergency | 999 |
|---|---|
| Report fraud (England, Wales, NI) | Report Fraud, 0300 123 2040 |
| Report fraud (Scotland) | Police Scotland, 101 |
| Intimate image threats | Revenge Porn Helpline |
| Sexual violence (England, Wales) | Rape Crisis, 0808 500 2222, 24/7 |
What's checked, and what isn't
Every photo is reviewed. Anyone who signs up through a VPN, or whose account is flagged, may be asked to pass an ID and selfie check, and any member can choose to take the same check and show an ID badge.
What members write about themselves (their age, area, job, relationship status, intentions) is not checked by anyone. A badge is a good sign, not a guarantee of character, and a missing badge proves nothing. So keep your own judgement switched on, and do the simple checks in our first-meeting checklist before you meet.
Scams: the signs that matter
A romance scam is when someone builds a relationship online in order to get money from you. They follow a pattern, and the pattern is more reliable than any single detail. Be wary of someone who:
- moves very fast: big feelings within days, pushing to leave the site for a messaging app;
- always has a reason not to video call or meet;
- is working abroad, on a rig, at sea or in the forces, and so conveniently out of reach;
- has a sudden emergency, a stuck payment, a customs fee or a ticket they can't afford;
- mentions an investment or crypto opportunity, however casually;
- asks for gift cards, bank transfers, or for money to pass through your account.
The rule is short: never send money, gift cards or financial details to someone you've only met online. No genuine casual date needs you to.
If you've already paid, call your bank straight away. Many UK banks and phone networks accept a call to 159, which connects you securely to your bank. Then report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at reportfraud.police.uk if you live in England, Wales or Northern Ireland. In Scotland, report fraud to Police Scotland on 101. Report the profile through the members help centre too, so it can be looked at.
Photos, threats and sextortion
Sextortion is blackmail using intimate images: don't pay, keep the evidence and report it. Some scammers build a flirtation quickly, coax out an intimate photo or video, then threaten to send it to your friends, your family or your ex unless you pay. If that happens:
- don't pay, and don't send anything more;
- stop replying, but keep the messages, usernames and any payment details as evidence;
- report it to the police (999 if you're in danger, 101 otherwise) and to the members help centre.
The Revenge Porn Helpline gives free advice to adults in the UK whose intimate images have been shared or are being used to threaten them, including sextortion. StopNCII lets you create a digital fingerprint of an image, without uploading the image itself, so that participating platforms can block it.
Our guide to keeping dating private covers how to make yourself a harder target in the first place.
Keeping your children safe
Your children's safety matters more than anything else on this page, and the rule is simple: keep them out of your profile and out of your early conversations. No photos, no names, no school, no clubs, no routines. A date doesn't need to know which days the kids are with you until you've decided you trust them.
Most people are simply interested in you. But be alert to anyone who is unusually interested in your children, offers to babysit or help with the kids early on, or pushes to meet them. Stop contact and report the profile. In England and Wales, the Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme (Sarah's Law) lets you ask the police whether someone with contact with your child has a record of sexual offences; call 101. Clare's Law does the same for a partner's history of abuse, and Scotland has the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland. Our guide to whether a casual partner should meet your kids covers the rest.
Reporting a member
Report a member through the members help centre with their username, what happened and roughly when. Screenshots help. If a crime is involved, such as fraud, threats, harassment or sharing intimate images, report it to the police as well.
Who to call
Call 999 if you're in danger now. For everything else, this table gives the right number for each part of the UK.
| Situation | Who to contact |
|---|---|
| You're in danger now | 999 |
| Fraud (England, Wales, NI) | Report Fraud, 0300 123 2040 or reportfraud.police.uk |
| Fraud (Scotland) | Police Scotland, 101 |
| You've just paid a scammer | Your bank, or call 159 |
| Intimate images shared or threatened | Revenge Porn Helpline; police |
| Sexual violence (England, Wales) | Rape Crisis, 0808 500 2222 (24/7) |
| Sexual violence (Scotland) | Rape Crisis Scotland, 08088 01 03 02 |
| Worried about a child | NSPCC, 0808 800 5000; 999 if in danger |
| Domestic abuse (England) | National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0808 2000 247 |
| Domestic abuse (Scotland) | Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline, 0800 027 1234 |
| Domestic abuse (Wales) | Live Fear Free, 0808 80 10 800 |
| Domestic and sexual abuse (NI) | Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline, 0808 802 1414 |
For sexual health after a date, including emergency contraception and testing, see our sexual health guide.
Questions people ask
Are Casual Mums profiles checked?
Every photo is reviewed, but what members write about themselves, such as age, area, job and intentions, is not checked. Some members choose an optional ID-and-selfie check and show a badge. A badge confirms identity, not character, so keep your own judgement switched on and do the simple checks in our first-meeting checklist.
Someone I've been chatting to wants money. What should I do?
Don't send it, whatever the reason or however genuine the story sounds. Stop replying, keep the messages, and report the profile through the members help centre. Report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 if you live in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, or to Police Scotland on 101. If you've already paid, call your bank first.
Someone is threatening to share my photos. Should I pay?
No. Paying rarely ends it, and it marks you as someone who pays. Stop contact, keep the evidence, and report it to the police and the members help centre. The Revenge Porn Helpline gives free advice to adults in the UK, and StopNCII can help stop an image being shared on participating platforms.
Can I check a new partner's past?
Yes, in some cases. In England and Wales, Clare's Law lets you ask the police whether a partner has a history of abuse, and Sarah's Law lets you ask whether someone with access to your child has a record of child sexual offences. Scotland has the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland. Start by calling 101.
Keep reading
- Dating as a single mum, without the school gate finding outProfile details, photos, phones, bank statements, social media, your ex, the children, and what to do if someone threatens you.
- How to date around childcareSchool-hours dates, the other parent's weekends, choosing a sitter, favour swaps, cancelled plans and keeping two worlds apart.
- A first-meeting safety checklist for single mumsThe ten-minute checklist: checks before you meet, the place, telling a friend, the date itself, getting home, and if something goes wrong.
- Casual or serious: deciding what you want as a parentWorking out what you want, saying it out loud, ground rules that keep it fair, and what to do when feelings shift.
Sources
- Report Fraud
- Police Scotland
- Stop Scams UK: call 159
- Revenge Porn Helpline
- StopNCII
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
- Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline
- Live Fear Free helpline (Welsh Government)
- Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline (Northern Ireland)
- Child sex offender disclosure scheme guidance — GOV.UK
- Ask the police if someone involved with a child has a record of sexual offences — GOV.UK
- Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme guidance — GOV.UK
- Check a partner's history of abuse (Scotland) — mygov.scot
- Rape Crisis England and Wales
- Rape Crisis Scotland
- NSPCC: report a concern
Checked 18 October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Tell us.